Click For Comic Cum Stains.

Can I just say how awesome it is to work on comics while cranking a mix of Led Zepplin and Mars Volta? I’ve got a half a boner I’m rocking so hard. Tried something new with coloriz-ing the grey tones in this comic. It might look stupid or might look neat-o torpedo. But I have no idea. Let me know. Mm-Kay?

This comic was just born out of those stupid conversations that couples have about their one “Freebie” that they’d get if they could sleep with anyone they wanted. I of course would choose Anne Hathaway, duh. Janice’s list is hovering around 45 people that are either vampires or from One Tree Hill. I hope she meets a vampire before she meets anyone from One Tree Hill. I’ll be able to tell too, cause she’ll be covered in sparkley glitter. Now the post form yesterday makes more sense.

My drawing of Anne Hathaway (soon to be known as Anne Amador. But that’s neither here nor there) is atrocious. I couldn’t keep from ruining all my drawings with drool as I looked at all the google images of her for reference. Even with a trasy photo like this, I still want to give her 35 children.

I doubt I have a chance. But I’m holding out hope.

On a side note, why the fuck didn’t anyone tell me that I was in the new Beastie Boys video?!!? For those of you that haven’t ever seen my ugly face, I get told I look like this guy here all the time.

Yeah, I can hear all of the ladies vaginas drying up now. Nobody’s turned on by Frodo.

North American Scum, Click here!

I’m just as surprised as you that I get this shit done everyday. Seriously, having a New Years resolution to drop 200 posts in a year was a poor choice at best. I should have just done something easier and less public, like try to lose weight. At least then I could have just started buying XL T-Shirts and lied about losing weight, and nobody would have said anything. But nope, I’m a moron. I finished this strip 45 minutes later than my normal noon posting time, but thanks to an awful night of sleep I was up early and banged it out. I know both of you who read this blog are happy about that. There used to be three people who read this, but my mom died in a car accident a few weeks back. So yeah, that kinda sucks.

This strip here is about, uh hold on lemme read it again….mm hmm…mm…I don’t know. I think it’s about retards? Oh wait, yeah back at my old job my manager made me train a few people who were completely unfit to be alive, ride a bicycle, have sex and reproduce, write anything other than their name, etc. etc. I felt like I was always trying to spray paint shit yellow and sell it as a gold brick. No shit one bitch came to work and hour late, none of the supplies she needed to do the job with scratches on her arms and a hickey on her neck. Disaster city. She banged on and on about her and her boyfriend getting into a fight, him throwing all of her shit out the second story floor of their crack house, him kicking her out. Tears, feeling blah blah blah. I just looked at her and in the politest way possible told her “I didn’t sign up for all this horse shit, I just want to know how the fuck you’re gonna do you job?” That said, I was never allowed to train people again.

Not only that this strip features a tasty Chipotle burrito. I <3 Chipotle even though it makes me have explosive liquid shits exactly an hour after eating it. But what’s a little mud butt between friends & lovers right?

Enough already, we get it–click the fuckin picture.

I think this must be the third or fourth time I’ve used this bum character in a comic strip. Besides the obvious shock value of a cum stained jacket and him blowing men–I really use this character to point out how shitty and self absorbed we all can be. I’m guilty of complaining about all sorts of mundane bullshit that really doesn’t affect my life at all, just because I can. But when you stop to think about things, there’s so much other shit going on that all our bullshit about our phones, work, school, herpes doesn’t really matter cause there’s always someone you know that’s in a way shittier situation than you.

I don’t know if I’ve wrote about this on here before, because honestly I don’t even read this retarded blog. But one day I was sitting outside of my crappy job downing vicodin with vodka and cursing my crummy life for working at such a hell hole and not staying in school when I saw a guy walking toward me. He’d been scouring the parking lot for the past 20 mins or so and I really hadn’t noticed it until he neared me, but he was walking all over the parking lot collecting cans, bottles and all the other things we litter parking lots with. Not only had he been walking all over the parking lot collecting cans but he also had a bad leg and walked with a limp, slightly dragging his leg behind him with each step. He wasn’t  homeless by the look of his clothes or the by the fact that he hopped out of a car that was nice by most peoples standard. Just an average middle aged white guy who could be anyone’s dad, brother or uncle.

So when he walked up towards me he asked if I needed the can that was sitting next to my tire. The same can I had thrown on the ground that day before because I was to lazy to walk an extra 30 feet to toss in the trash can. I told him I didn’t need it and it was all his as I picked it up and handed it to him along with several others that were sitting on the floorboard of my car. He piled the cans into his folded arms and as he walked away he thanked me in the most genuine way that I’ve heard in a really long fucking time. I was floored. I just gave him shit I was gonna toss out and he was really thanking me and MEANING it for this pile of cans I could car less about?!  Fuck my life.

So in my fantastical mind I started wondering why this guy who seemed like a normal dude would be rolling around in a newer model Toyota with his wife in tow scavenging for cans throughout a parking lot. Why would he be so thankful for my pile of shit? Was the economy that bad? I have no clue, but if that old guy was thankful for something so trivial, what in the fuck do I have to complain about?

I ran out of Valtrex?

I can’t find my keys?

Who gives a fuck—there’s people worse off than I am and they’re not bitching about dragging a dead leg around a parking lot for hours on end for a couple of bucks.

I’m not saying that I’m not hypocritical when it comes to complaining about shit, but I take things with a grain of salt because every episode of Hoarders and Intervention shows, I’m better off than a lot of people in this world and I’ve never had to suck a strangers dick for drugs. Chalk a win up for me.

Everything’s Amazing, & Nobody’s Happy- Louis C.K.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

Page 20. But fuck it, lets not talk about that….lets talk about what todays word of the day is…

The word is:

Not too many of us artists have it. Not too many people in life have it. I never saw the point in busting my ass with my art and whoring it up if you will. I always thought that since in my head I’m a decent enough comic artist that people would just somehow magically come to my art. Then I realized, I have to bust my ass, kick down peoples fuckin doors and sometimes shove my art so far down their throats that they’re shitting my terrible art for a week.

I’ve talked to a lot of people in a lot of different branches of art, from music to painting to drawing to whatever. I gotta tell you we’re some lazy motherfuckers out there. But you want to know what the worst part is, we’re also haters. Fuck it, I said it. I bet you know of at least a handful of people that you think are less talented than you are, but somehow they’re reaping the rewards that you think you should get. Fuck you, get off your ass. I can bet they put in twice the work that you do, even if you don’t see it. Stop bitching about what you don’t have and break your fuckin neck working to get what you think you should have. Do I think more people should see my work? You’re damn right I do. Are they gonna just show up on my interwebbles doorstep? You’re out of your mind if you think I’m gonna get people to see me without sending up a signal flare or two.

I have no idea how to get my work out to people and by no means am I a pro anything, but right now you better believe that I’m gonna kill myself trying to reach one person at a time. I’m starting to pound the pavement and knocking down doors. I spend 4 hours a day on this god damn internet whoring out my art. I post shit on every forum I can find (at this point the count is up to 9, got any I’m missing send me the link…i’m fuckin there) I know my work may not appeal to everyone, but I can give a rats ass. Cause in 4 hours a day, if I can get 1 person who genuinely likes my shit, I’ve fuckin won, and you’re damn right I’m gonna be back the next day trying to reel in another. So if you’re sitting around wondering why people are passing you by or why nobody gives a shit about your ________ projects, it’s because you’re a lazy asshole. Stop whining start working.

So do whatever you can to get your voice out there and be seen, heard, felt and understood. Get in the ring of effort and don’t stop punching.